something more.

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

-Francesca Battistelli "I'm Letting Go"

I'm incredibly blessed. Unlike a majority of the world, I have a nice home, food to eat, clothes to wear, the opportunity to gain an education. I have 2 great parents and 2 brothers that, well, they're pretty awesome too all things considered. Why does it sometimes feel like I'm lacking in the purpose department? Why do I long for something more? Why is there always another goal to reach, some other level to obtain?

There has to be something more to this life.

Something more than just going about this life, graduating college, getting married, having 2.5 kids.

There has to be more to this life than things of earthly value. The things that we work to achieve in this world serve only one purpose. That they exist in this life-this world. The things we work towards for God's glory- not that it amounts to that much- are for so much more. These things will stay with us. They are to which we can find meaning and purpose. In the end, it won't matter how long it takes me to graduate college (the parentals would prefer that to be sooner rather than later, though I'm sure. In the end, it won't matter what neighborhood I live in or what school I teach at. It won't matter what career path I choose; it won't matter what I name my future children, what color the walls are painted, or what kind of flowers are in my wedding. In the end, the only thing that will matter is my relationship with God and what I have done with everything he has given me.

There's something more. I don't know what it is. And I'm a little scared about it. But I know it's a good thing.

I'm letting go, and letting God lead. After all, he knows what's best, right?