Sometimes living fear{less} is kind of scary. So, we stand at the edge of the pool, not wanting to fully immerse our entire body in the water. We're okay with sticking our toes in the water. We're okay sitting on the edge even. But, we don't want to jump in. Jumping in to the water would mean giving up all control. So, we sit on the side of the pool, away from the action and activity, wondering why we aren't finding fulfillment, why we aren't happy.
It's because we aren't really living fear{less}.
Fear{less} doesn't mean that we're completely unafraid. It doesn't mean that we have to be completely comfortable with everything. But, living fear{less} requires that we push through the uncomfortable feeling of being unsure. It means that we don't stay sitting on the side of the pool, but rather- we jump in!
This reminds me of something that happened at camp this summer. You should know that I'm not a camp person. I don't swim. Lakes are quite terrifying. But, since I was chaperoning a wonderful group of middle school girls that wanted to spend free time in the lake and I don't know how to say "no" really well...that's where we spent most of our time. I was okay with the whole "floating around" thing since I had this great invention called a life jacket on. But, there was this slide thing that was the bane of my existence.
I know that it doesn't look that big and tall- but trust me, it was terrifying. My girls were convinced that they would get me up this monster at some point in time that week. Scratch that- everyone was convinced that they would get me to go on it, even if it was kicking, screaming, and unconscious. So, come the last day at the lake- I had no "real" choice. Somehow I was convinced up the thing- and at that point, I had a choice. I could either have a freak out moment, completely disappoint the children, and look like a quite horrible person. Or- I could "jump". In that moment- that split second- a decision was made. I grabbed one of the girl's hand and we went down the slide. It was absolutely terrifying. But, I didn't die. The world didn't end. Is it something that I wish to do again? Not really. But, I did it. I conquered that fear. I jumped anyways.
Sometimes living fear{less} is terrifying. I don't want you to get the idea that it's an easy thing. I don't want you to think that you're a failure for being scared. The thing is, being a Christian can be scary. I mean, look at the Bible. There's some crazy and radical things in that book. It talks about taking up your cross- a form of torture and execution- and following Christ. It talks about putting your relationship with Christ over all else. It talks about big, crazy, scary things. I'd be lying if I said that being a Christ follower isn't scary. I'd be lying if I said that it's not scary for God to give you a heart for missions. When I look at the way that God is leading me in my life, it's not the most comfortable life. It's not like going to law school and having great financial security. It means giving up a lot of time, for little pay- in order to benefit the Kingdom. So, to me, it's worth it. But, that doesn't mean that I don't have freak out moments where I think "What DID I get myself into???!" I think the thing to focus on isn't the fear. The thing to focus on is God- he's going to make it worth it. It is always "worth it" to be in God's will- it's not always easy (but God doesn't promise that!). So, even in the hard times- JUMP! Don't stay sitting on the side of the pool. Don't stay in the "comfortable". Living fear{less} means knowing when to JUMP!
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