31 Days of Fear{less}: Grief and Hope

Today we're veering a little off the beaten path to unplanned territory. Today we were going to talk about some of the great Bible heroes that wrestled with this fear thing, but after some events that have transpired over the last 2 days, that wasn't what I felt I should blog about. So, here we go. 

Grief and fear. Over the last two days, I feel like I keep hearing about people dying. I mean, I know that bad things happen in this world. I know that death is a natural part of life. But, it seems like everywhere I turn, I'm hearing of someone person- someone that I don't necessarily know, but that I feel some sort of connection to- that has died. Yesterday, I heard about a college freshman from my hometown that was shot and killed by a police officer on his college campus. It's described as being out of his nature- and people are looking for answers. Some way to explain the pain. Not getting into politics or debate, but no matter how you feel on the issue, somebody's son died. Somebody's little brother died. Somebody's best friend died. In the midst of all of this confusion, how do you  move on? This afternoon after church, I heard about a precious blogger's husband passing away in a car accident. How do you explain a baby losing a daddy before they even really know them? There's so many questions, which results in a lot of metaphorical wrestling with God. Why did this happen? How did this happen? What is going to happen next?

There's some amount of fear and trepidation going into tomorrow. Anyone else just want to lock up everyone you love and not let them out of your sight? Anyone else want to make sure they always say "I love you" before you say goodbye? The truth is, we aren't promised tomorrow. We aren't promised that the future (on this Earth) will be bright and happy. The truth is, really bad things happen sometimes. Sometimes, there isn't a "good" answer. Sometimes people die young. Sometimes people die and leave a family and baby behind. 

We can live fear{less} in these hard times by remembering God. We can remember that although there may be pain, there may be grief, there may be "unexplainable events", we have hope. We have hope. 

I normally wouldn't call the Hunger Games gospel, but I think that it might have hit the nail on it's head with this one. Hope can combat fear. Hope can free us from the chains that hold us in bondage. When we realize that we DO have hope for a brighter tomorrow (in heaven), we can let go of the fear. When we embrace the fact that "because HE lives, I can face tomorrow", we can live life to the fullest. We can know that even in the midst of grief and suffering, there is hope. We can know that we serve a God that conquered death and the grave. We can know that there is a better tomorrow in store that involves you and me worshiping God...forever. For eternity. 

We can know that there will come a day that we won't have to cry anymore. 

We can know that there will come a day when we won't have to worry about "what might happen".

We can know that there will come a day when we won't have to grieve the loss of loved ones. 

We can know that there will come a day when we won't have to try to explain the "unexplainable".

We can have hope, we can place our hope, in our God, the creator of the universe. The creator of everything living. The one who "gives and takes away". We can hope in Him. We can trust in him. 

When we live a life of hope, we can live fear{less} with Him. 

31 Days of Fear{less}: Worry

I'm a professional worrier.

I mean, I'm great at it. It's a not-so-hidden talent.

Want to know all of the worst case scenarios of what might happen? Ask me. I've probably already come up with them.

I've realized though that all of this worry isn't a good thing. I mean, sure- bad things happen in this world. But, is is really worth my time to worry about "what might"? Is it really worth my effort? Is this something that is going to build me up or bring me down? Is it going to enrich my life?

I'm beginning to realize that worry- even more so than the fear that it is rooted in- doesn't make my life better. Does worrying about a plane falling from the sky (not crashing- just ceasing to stay up in the air) make it happen, or does it just make me freak out during plane flights? Worrying doesn't do anything to solve the problem- it just makes me feel worse.It empties today of its strength. It brings me down- and it stresses the people out around me.

While I might be a pro at coming up with worse case scenarios- and this might help me survive past December 2012 and the end of the world as we know it- it doesn't enrich my life. It holds me back from experiencing the life I've been given. I mean, seriously. I worry about California and refuse to plan a trip there because I worry that I might die in a tsunami. That just sounds silly. I didn't want to go to NYC in the first place, because in all the apocalypse movies, that city is always the first to go (whether by snowstorm or tsunami). I don't like cruises, because of the Titanic. Because of this little thing called worry, I find myself unable to enjoy life- and that's not the way that God intended us to live. God didn't just say "do not worry" because worry is a sin. Is it harmful in and of itself? Not really. But, when it controls our lives, when it controls our actions, when it holds us in bondage- we aren't living free. Living fear{less} is living free from fear, free from the bondage that enslaves us and holds us back from experiencing the riches of the life that God has planned for us. Living fear{less} means trying to find a way (or ways) to keep our worry in check and keep it from getting out of control. Living fear{less} means living life...to the fullest. 

31 Days of Fear{less}: Doubt and Questioning

“To me, Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.” ― Taylor Swift 

Okay, so today, we're headed back to the original quote that started this all and we're going to talk about a slightly controversial line, "Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them." Doubt. Is it a good or bad thing? As Christians, are we allowed to doubt and question, or is that a bad thing? Let's get started. 

Sometimes in the midst of hard times, we doubt. We question matters of faith- things like "How could a loving God allow this to happen?" or "How do I know that God really exists when ______ is happening?".We allow our perception of God to be shaped by our circumstances, which aren't all that great sometimes. Sometimes when we look back at our times of doubt, we think "Wow, I shouldn't have thought that". We think less of ourselves because we doubted. We treat that period of doubt and questioning as a sin. I'd hazard a guess (with absolutely no scientific data to back me up, so don't quote me on it), that at least 75% of Christian teenagers go through a crisis of faith in middle school/high school where they question the validity of everything that they have ever been taught. And even though I'm going into the ministry and want the kids I work with to have a healthy faith life, I pray that the kids I work with will go through this time of questioning. I want to encourage them to ask questions. I want them to dig deeper. I want them to have to back up everything that they were ever taught and believe it for themselves. When I think of the strongest Christians I know, it seems like each and every one of them went through a crisis of faith. They had some doubt. They questioned. In the end, they came out stronger. So, I have to think that this doubt and questioning is okay.

I mean, look at the Bible. It is filled with stories of people that wrestled with God. Think of the book of Psalms...how many of these chapters deal with feelings of despair? Ecclesiastes. Job. Lamentations. What about "doubting Thomas"? The believers after Jesus died, pre-Resurrection? These are just a few circumstances in the Bible out of many. Maybe we won't get struck by lightning for doubting. Maybe these times of questioning can help us grow stronger. 

Here's the catch though: we can't use doubt as an excuse for inaction. We can't use questioning as an excuse to put off what God is telling us to do. We have to persevere through these times, and not get stuck in them. Our faith needs to be bigger than our fears. Even in the midst of this questioning, we still have to keep going through the motions. We can't use the excuse of "well, I'm doubting right now, so I'm not going to go to church". We have to fight through these times. We have to pursue faith and belief...even when we're uncertain. We can't stay in a stagnate state of "doubt and questioning". We have to work towards finding an answer. Maybe you search for answers in the Bible or through prayer. Maybe you attend a Bible Study or join a small group that will help you in this search. Maybe you find a trusted friend that you say "Hey, I'm struggling right now, can you help me?". But, whatever you do- don't give up. Don't use this time of doubt as an excuse for inactivity. Use this time as a time for learning and growth. In the midst of this, seek God and don't give up on him.

31 Days of Fear{less}: Strong and Courageous

I think a lot of the time, we think that we have to be "strong and courageous" all the time. We have this idea that we can't ever fail. We can't ever fear. We can't ever break down the facade the show how things really are. We're constantly in a state of "I'm okay", when in reality life as we know it is falling apart and shattering to the ground. We want to be strong for the sake of those around us. We want to be perfect for the people that are looking up to us. The whole process leaves us feeling frustrated, longing, and seeking in the end. We strive and we strive at this silly little thing called life, and we fall short all the time.

Sometimes, we have really good intentions. I mean, we have really great Bible verses like Joshua 1:9 that instruct us- command us- to never be afraid. This can be the perfect excuse that allows us to breed perfectionism.

via

We feel like if we don't stay "strong and courageous", we're failing at this whole Christianity thing. But, the truth is- sometimes we don't feel like being strong. Sometimes we don't feel like being courageous. Sometimes we don't feel like fighting anymore. We can't see where we're going...the fog of fear is creeping in to our lives once again and things seem hopeless. It's hard sometimes to be fear{less} if we get caught up in the wrong definition of the word.

I think the thing we need to remember in these times is found in the last part of the verse. For the LORD YOUR GOD will be with you WHEREVER you may go. Wherever this life takes you. Whatever "scary places" he may lead you. No matter what- God is with you. This isn't dependent on our reactions. He doesn't say that he'll only guide us as long as we're being unafraid. He doesn't say that he'll only lead us as long as we look perfect to the world around us. I believe that God is okay with our imperfections. They're beautiful to him, and he can use us in spite of our weaknesses- even when they are many. Rather than getting caught up in the legalism of verses like Joshua 1:9, we should get caught up in the reassurance. Yes, God wants us to be free from the bondage of fear- it's in his perfect plan. But, even in these times, we can remember that God is with us, he is FOR us. Finding freedom of fear, living fear{less}, means remembering in the hard times that God is still there fighting for us. His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out.

31 Days of Fear{less}: Completely Unafraid?

The second line of our Taylor Swift quote is, "It's not being completely unafraid." Yesterday, we talked about how fear{less} isn't the complete absence of fear- rather, it's finding freedom from fear. Today, we're going to focus on how it's not about being completely unafraid either. Here's the thing about fear- it's going to happen. At some point in time, you will experience fear. It's a part of human life. We've talked about how fear isn't a bad thing- it's just bad when it holds us back from experiencing God intended for us. Something that we need to realize is that when we fall, we have to get back up.

I love this Maya Angelou quote. Courage isn't being unafraid- we're going to fear sometimes. But, it's facing our fears. It's saying that "sometimes I'm gonna fall, but I'm going to get right back up". Have you ever tripped in the middle of a busy area? I'm kind of clumsy sometimes, but I've learned over the years how to catch myself before I fall all the way to the ground. It's embarrassing when you're walking along a sidewalk and you suddenly end up on the ground. Sometimes, there's a small part of you that just wants to stay there, because that would mean that you wouldn't have to acknowledge what just happened. It's the same way with fear. Sometimes, it does consume us. Sometimes, we don't have that freedom from fear. But, what we have to realize it that in those times (when we've "failed"), we need to get back up. It means that we don't run away from our fears, but we inch towards them with the mindset that "it's okay if this is scary, but I'm going to conquer this one!". It means that we don't spend our life in hiding. It doesn't mean that we have to run full speed ahead...just that we inch towards our fear with the mindset that "it's okay, it's okay" and we know that if we fall, we can get back up. We don't have to completely give up all of our fears at once- that would be overwhelming. But, step by step, we can find freedom. Step by step, we can get up after our failures and "try, try again". 

31 Days of Fear{less}: Absence of Fear?

So, what does fear{less} really mean anyways? In our Taylor Swift quote that this series is bases on, it begins by saying that "fearless is not the absence of fear", which at first glance can seem quite contradictory. Often we think of being fearless as being...well, completely void (or absent) of fear. When we think of "fearless" people, we think of people that do scary things (like skydiving, bungee jumping, riding roller coasters) without a second thought. But, that isn't the actual definition of fearless. According to Merriam-Webster's dictionary, fearless is being "free of fear". It's not letting fear hold us back. It's not letting fear take over our thoughts and actions...it's freedom.

So, what does the Bible say about all of this? I think a lot of times we quote all of the "do not fear" verses in the Bible (there's quite a few!) and we get set in our mind that fear is a really bad thing. We read these "do not fear" verses as commands, so we think that if we have any fear at all...it's bad. But, I don't think that is what God really intended. I think that instead of advocating for the absence of fear (since he does talk about fear of the Lord and that kind of stuff), he is rather advocating for freedom from things that bind us and hold us back from a complete and full relationship with Him. If our fear is standing in the way of this, we need to find a way to be freed from it. We aren't called to live lives in bondage to fear. If fear is impacting our relationships (with God and with others), it's not a good thing. But, being fear{less} isn't about having no fear at all...it's about not letting our fears affect the way we live in a negative manner. 2 Timothy 1:7 says that "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." God didn't intend on us to live our lives bound by fear...he wants us to live fear{less}.He wants us to live in freedom the freedom described in 2 Corinthians 3:17 where it says that, "where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

Is your worry affecting your life? Are irrational fears taking over your life? What can we do about this? How can we find freedom from fear? I don't want this series to be me just spouting off things about living fear{less} with no practical application, so here's some practical steps that we can take to find freedom from fear:

1. Pray. Prayer is a powerful thing. Philippians 4:6 reads, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.". Psalm 18: 16 says, "In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears." These verses remind us that God does hear our cries for help. Even when fear is crippling or consuming, know that God is there for you when you cry out to him...and he will help you and give you comfort.
2. Read Scriptures to remind you of God's faithfulness. If God provided for the people "way back then", why would he not care about you right now? One of the reasons that the Torah is my favorite portion of the Bible is the stories that it contains of God's faithfulness. Even in the midst of really bad situations, when all seemed hopeless, God provided for his people. Even if it wasn't on their timeline or the way that they wanted him to act, God always came through. Reading these stories can help remind you that God is there for you and will intervene in your life. He wants you to have freedom!
3. Count your blessings. What is the "good" in the situation that you're fearful of? What can you be thankful for? I'm a huge pros/cons list person- mostly because it helps me manage this. Try to have the "pros" outweigh the "cons" in your list. Look for the good in the situation, and don't let the bad consume you!

31 Days of Fear{less}: Introduction

"To me, Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.” ― Taylor Swift

I've been contemplating for months now what I should do my "31 Days" series on this year. I really enjoyed last years' series 31 Days of Change, and it helped me write a lot of my book. I've known that October was going to be a busy month (can we say midterms?), but I really wanted to still do the series. I had a lent series that I had come up with (40 days) for the blog that I had never gotten around to writing, so I thought about doing that one. I thought about doing a blog design/Photoshop series...but, in the end, that wasn't what I wanted to do. Then, I was on Pinterest one day (all great ideas start that way), and I came across the Taylor Swift quote from the beginning of this blog post- and I knew that that was what I wanted to do this series on!

So, basically, this series is going to be on living fear{less}-not to be confused by living fearless. We aren't going to be talking about living in a state totally and completely absent of all fear. I don't think that that's exactly the way God intended things. There are certain times when fear is necessary (the fear of God, fear as a way of keeping us safe, etc). So, we'll be talking about what living fear{less} really is, how it's okay to have fears, and how we can live in spite of our fears. I'm super excited about this journey that we'll take together over the next month and hope you'll come back each day to see the new things I have to say! :)

I'll be using this post as the base post, so I'll add a link each day to the other posts in the series. If you ever get behind, just come back to this introductory post to get caught up!

Day 2: Absence of Fear?
Day 3: Completely Unafraid?
Day 4: Strong and Courageous
Day 5: Doubt and Questioning
Day 6: Worry
Day 7: Grief and Hope