Enough.

So, my guilty pleasure on Monday nights is getting into my pajamas to eat dinner and watch the Bachelor. It's pretty much the highlight of my week (Sad. I know). Tonight was "Hometowns", which seems to be the point of the season where everyone realizes that this show isn't a game anymore and love is on the line. Hearts are going to be broken. Tonight, my favorite contestant went home (note: my favorite contestant each season always wins. so this is kind of weird). As Kacie was riding off in the limo, she asked a question to the camera, "Why am I never good enough?" Obviously, she was in love with The Bachelor. She had stated as much on the show and talked about how she couldn't wait to do normal things- like going grocery shopping- with Ben (that's a small town girl for you!). As I watched her crying in the limo (which is always my least favorite part of the show), I began to get sad with her. I mean, she thought that she had found "true love". She came on The Bachelor to find love (which is a whole 'nother story. those guys don't have the best track record). In the end, she was left asking "Why am I not good enough?"

How often do we do this? Maybe it's not because you think you're madly in love with a man with three other girlfriends. Maybe it's not because a boy breaks your heart. But, we place so much stock in what other people think of us. We desire to be loved. We desire to be wanted. We desire to be enough. It's this desperation that leads us to do crazy things. We have an inner longing for "something" and we try to fill it up. Satan places these "Why am I not good enough?" thoughts in our heads. This is not healthy. When I was thinking about this (all in the past 10 minutes), these lyrics from Tenth Avenue North ran through my head.

Now, I know that Kacie doesn't read my blog. But, if you've ever found yourself in this situation (or this is what you're going through right now), I want you to think of the gravity of the above line. Why are you looking for love as if God isn't enough? We go through life looking for love. But, we need to realize the grace we've been shown. We don't need to "work harder". We don't need to seek out love for ourselves. We need to realize that God is enough. God is enough to fill all of our deepest inner longings and our heart's desires. God is enough. We don't need to worry about being "enough". Focusing on the "enough" just leads to our own frustrations. We don't need to go looking for love...love will find us.

Why are you striving these days

Why are you trying to earn grace

Why are you crying

Let me lift up your face

Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough

To where will you go child

Tell me where will you run

To where will you run

And I'll be by your side

Wherever you fall

In the dead of night

Whenever you call

And please don't fight

These hands that are holding you

My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side

They swallowed the grave on that night

When I drank the world's sin

So I could carry you in

And give you life

I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you

I want you to know

That I, I love you

I'll never let you go

-"By Your Side", Tenth Avenue North