SGA Elections are Serious Business

So, maybe at your college, SGA elections aren't that big of a deal. Honestly, I didn't think they were here either. I mean, I didn't vote last year because I didn't even know when elections were (or that they happened). But due to some major boy drama (and by boy drama, I mean boys causing drama NOT drama over boys), elections here have gotten quite heated. I'm not really sure what the deal is (something about alcohol and transparency and...I'm staying out of this...) and I'm not sure I really want to. But, pay attention to that last line.

Seriously. Voter fraud. This is an SGA election people. Serious consequences? Really? I'm pretty sure that real voter fraud (like in actual elections) happens in the Great State of Alabama and people get off with less than a minimum $150 fine and 10 hours community service. Milton McGregor anyone? (Inside Alabama joke. Sorry out of state friends.)

Gee. This is #hawkward. 

In other news, that hash tag is incredibly awkward. Why do we feel the need (as a school) to add "hawk" to everything? What is "hawking" the vote anyways? When I think of a hawk, I think of a bird of prey. One that would snatch the votes up and definitely commit voter fraud. Just saying. According to Webster's "to hawk" is to "to raise by trying to clear the throat " Um, that sounds gross. Please don't regurgitate your votes, people. I mean, I know we do the whole paper ballot thing because we're anti-technology. But...you get the idea. 

[Edit to add: Another meaning for "hawk" as a verb is "to offer for sale by calling out in the street ; broadly : sell". I'm definitely sure that selling the vote constitutes fraud. Just saying. #pleasechangethehashtag]

I'm stopping now. I love that my school provides me with this much entertainment. :)