Tuesday, April 16, 2013

the journey

I started this little blog during my freshman year of college. I'd dabbled in blogging for a few years (please tell me that I'm not the only one that was obsessed with Xanga in high school- I think my entire life story is out there-), so it wasn't a completely foreign thing to me. This blog is a little bit more sane than my Xanga. If you ever need a laugh at my expense, click on over. I was ridiculous. 
Awesome senior picture that perfectly describes my high school awkwardness.
Scratch that- I'm still pretty awkward.
(Yes, that is a calculator. TI-89 was my best friend. He was almost my prom date.)
Four years ago, I was ending my freshman year of college at Auburn. Four years ago today, I blogged about a little fish named Gus-gus Herman (he was a great fish, but he's dead now).
Spring Break Freshman Year. My baby brothers were so little! :)
Three years ago, I was an education major at AUM. Three years ago today, I wrote this post about Operation Beautiful. Even though I didn't exactly believe everything I was writing (and I still struggle with it), it's a post that I look back on sometimes when I need a little reminder.
Way too excited about observation hours, but I miss those days.
Two years ago, I was in my first semester at Huntingdon. I was in the midst of writing my final paper for my first religion class (that convinced me I needed to change my major), so I wrote about how God is always faithful as shown in the story of Noah.
My best friend. She's super amazing and I'm so glad to have her in my life! 
One year ago, I did a catch up post for my Sunday Sparkle project. :) I was completely overwhelmed by the school year at that point. Philosophy and Ethics were killer. I think that I was going crazy. But I made it. I survived- AND I pulled out an A for both!
Totally true. Stickers are my favorite
Not a picture of me. But it makes me giggle every time I see it. :)
And now...today.
Well, yesterday. But whatever.
Thank goodness I'm not the same silly, ridiculous person I was in high school (okay, so maybe I'm still a little crazy- but not THAT crazy!). I'm not even the same person I was four years ago when I started this blog. I don't even want to be that girl. I've learned so much. I've grown up. I've matured in my faith. Oh- and I finished college (even though it still doesn't really seem like it). I finished- and I finished strong. I finished well. I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of the progress that I've made. That picture up there represents so much. That award? It's for the highest grade point average in the department for the previous semester. Even with all of the messy stuff I was sorting through, I got a 4.0 last fall. I graduated with a 3.7 even though I battled my way through the last semester. There were moments that I thought I wouldn't make it. There were moments I wanted to give up, give in, and quit. There were days that I contemplated taking a medical leave of absence- my mind wasn't in the right place. I was struggling to keep my head afloat. I was struggling with assignments, struggling to make it to class, struggling to stay awake, struggling to pretend like everything was okay.

But today, I realized that even though the last few years have been a roller coaster- I DID IT. I went to three different colleges. I had five different majors. I've gone through so much emotionally. I still don't really know what I want to do with my life. But in the end, with God's help- I did it. I survived. I passed my classes (that I was sure that I was going to fail). I made a 4.0 for the semester. I finished my degree requirements. Yesterday, I received an award that means so much more to me than a piece of paper. It's a symbol that I didn't give up. It's a symbol that even when hard things happen, I can still do it. I can still live life. I can still push through and just do it.

I'm not who I was five years ago- I am so much more. Thank you for sticking around for the journey. I can't wait to see what story I'll be able to tell four or five years from now. There's still so much more in store. Am I nervous? Yep. Do I know what I'm doing with my life yet? Nope! But I know that life is an exciting adventure. I know that God already knows what's going to happen. He holds my life in the palm of his hand. He calls me his precious, beloved daughter. So, I'm trusting in that. I'm trusting that he'll lead me down the path I should go. I'm clinging to his Word. I have faith and believe that great things are in store. Great things.

1 comment:

  1. This is so encouraging to me to see your thoughts! I am in a similar place in regard to what is next after graduation and I WANT to trust and believe that the Lord's plan is good. Thank you for encouraging me to do that!