what next?

I've been trying to take a little break from the blogging world lately. Part of it was due to the fact that this past semester was busier than I first thought, and the other part was due to the fact that I needed a break. I needed some time and space to evaluate why I'm really blogging. I feel like in some ways, I'm running fifty-million blogs in one. I want to be a "college blogger", so I blog about college and school. I want to be a "photography blogger", so I post lots of meaningless pictures. I want to be a "deep, spiritual blogger", so I blog about deep, religious topics. I want to be a "professional blogger", so I do blog series like "31 Days". I want to be a "crafty blogger", so I blog about craft projects that I'm working on. While all of this stuff is good and great, it gets exhausting. I feel like I spend so much time trying to please people that I've lost the reasons why I blog.

1. I blog to keep a journal of the things that are going on in my life. I want to be able have something to look back at 10 years down the roads and laugh at.
2. I blog to create relationships and friendships with people that don't necessarily live near me, but that I share common interests with.
3. I blog as a means of evangelism and teaching. I feel a call on my life to share the gospel with other people. I feel a call on my life to teach other people about the Bible, God, and other things like that. It also keeps me accountable and keeps me learning. :)

I make lofty goals like "Project 52" or "Project 365" and I end up failing horribly. I review things and do sponsored posts and try to do blog ads and get more followers, and I fail horribly. Maybe God is trying to use all of these situations to teach me something. Ultimately, the reason I blog is for God. He is supposed to receive the glory of this little spot on the internet. The next person I blog for is myself. This blog is a safe haven for me to share my thoughts and record my memories. After that, I blog for you. I blog for relationships. I blog as a method of teaching. But, my worth as a blogger is not defined by statistics. My worth is not defined by how many followers I have (Hey- my follower widget has been broken for months. I have no idea who follows me!...but if you know how to fix this tiny problem, let me know!). My worth is not defined by how many people link to me. My worth as a blogger is not defined by how many sponsors I have breathing down my back or how many free products I receive in a given month. 

So, now that life has slowed down a bit (and I'm a COLLEGE GRADUATE!), I'm planning on blogging a little more frequently. But, I want it to be with a purpose (Quality over quantity, people!). I've got some blog posts written up that I'm waiting for the right time to post- and waiting to make sure that they are the message that I'm intending to share. I'm hoping to go from the fluffy, filler posts that I've been blogging into a little deeper territory (not too deep, mind you. I still do stupid things like get into the wrong car). The reality is that I'm not quite sure what I'm doing next. I'm not sure where I'm going next. These next few months are SO full of uncertainty. I've applied for jobs, I'm applying to grad school, and I'm praying that God will show me where I need to be and place a peace in my heart. Between December not being a good month for seeking permanent employment and a bad economy, I don't know where I'm going next. I am planning to finally start expanding on some of my graphic design/blog design that I've been working on for the past year- look for an update on that situation in the next week or so. I'm still working out the logistical side of things, but it's something that I want to pursue (for fun AND as a resume builder)!  

So, what next? Who knows.

What I do know is that whatever may come, I want to stay true to myself and to God. 

I don't want to "sell out". I don't want to "give in". I don't want to take the easy way out- in my blogging OR in my everyday life. I'm called for a higher purpose...and my worth is not defined by the things of this world.