Monday, March 14, 2011

decisions, decisions.

I'm really struggling right now to figure out where God is leading me after college. As of this moment, I have no earthly idea what I really want to do. I throw around ideas (such as working for an organization like Compassion, writing children's Sunday school curriculum, and being a children's director)...but I really don't know how to get there. When I came to HC, I declared Business as my major. Keep in mind, I'm at my third college and fourth major. For the first time in my college career, I am absolutely in love with my college. I love it here and it is perfect for me. I love the small college feel and the personal relationships I have with my peers and my professors. I know that I want to graduate from here and I cannot wait for the day that I get to walk across the stage out on the Green and get my diploma. It's something I get excited about every time I walk by the Green. In the past, I've always dreaded the concept of graduation. The whole having to sit on a stage for hours and hours was something I dreaded. But, I am excited about graduation now. I'm excited about the new experiences I will encounter after that day. But, in order to get to that day...I've got to complete a major. And that's the part I'm really struggling with right now. I hate my business class. I'm not going to lie. It's not just that it's at 8 o'clock in the morning, but it's the fact that it's dreadfully boring. It's outright torture. And I realize that I'm slowly confining myself to a job that will put me behind a desk for many hours will little or no encounters with children. My goal in life? To help children and lead them to Christ. That is my ultimate goal. I would go as far to call it a calling, but I don't like to get caught up in labels. :)

I know people say that the degree you get really doesn't matter. But, I hate math. And I hate statistics. And I'm really not a huge fan of the classes I have left to take. So, now I have a major decision. To stick with the major that I'm in (by 1 class) or to change (and still graduate at the same time-maybe a semester early). I'm beginning to consider options post-college. This is probably due to the fact that several of my roommates are graduating this semester, and the remainder of my friends are graduating next Spring. I'm beginning to see that there really is a life after college (if Jesus doesn't come back first, obviously). I'm thinking about Grad school- is it for me? Or what about seminary? Where is God leading me? I don't know yet. I'm still in the prayer mode. I'm not officially changing my major...yet. But, it's something I'm definitely considering. Religion or Christian Ed? Psychology or Communication? Or do I stay where I'm at and grit my teeth? Big decisions are in my very near future. I know that technically it doesn't really matter what your major is. But, if I'm going to be studying something for the next two years...should it be enjoyable? I have some preferences towards the faculty in certain majors and would really enjoy taking a class or two with them. But, I don't know. I have no idea what I'm doing. I thought that once I turned twenty and started here- I would know exactly what to do. But now- I'm not so sure.

Have you ever been in this situation? Any ideas of what this girl should do? :)


  1. Wow i remember these thoughts. Did you read my "about me" section on my blog? HAHA. THanks for your comment btw. My best advice, although hard to carry out, would be to remember Psalm 139. Every page of your life has already been written in his book. He's got ya. Do not seek God's will until you forget to seek God. Seek Him and you will hear His will shouting at ya.

  2. First I just want to say: I love your new blog design!

    Okay. Now we can talk about the deep life stuff. :]

    I think you have an amazing passion set before you. And I'm going to tell you something similar to what I told my roommate, who was having a similar dilemma.

    If you don't love business now, you will. not. love it later. Pursue your passion. I don't know exactly how that would translate in a degree: maybe social work, maybe education, maybe something else. Communications might be good if you want to work for a nonprofit, because you might be writing a lot for grant applications. Of course, you may be doing something else in a nonprofit. {But communications is my mind is a really good major because it's so versatile, and it's a skill everyone needs... then again I'm a writer and a talker and basically just love to communicate so that might color my perspective a little, haha.} But seriously.

    I hope this helps you in your decision. I'll be praying for you, Lauren. These kinds of decisions are never easy to make.