I have built a city here
Half with pride and half with fear
Just wanted a safer place to hide
I don’t want to be safe tonight
I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing, wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I’m only Yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn these walls down
I’m only Yours now
-Jimmy Needham "Hurricane"
I've been really thinking about missions lately. It could because of the fact that missions is mentioned everywhere in the news because of the Haitian earthquake, or it could be something else, but God seems to be really pressing on my heart the importance of getting involved in missions. Now, you should know, I'm not super fond of the whole international missions thing. It requires an airplane and flying over oceans- not exactly my cup of tea. Personally, I'm a fan of the local missions that don't really take me out of my comfort zone. But, lately I've been thinking that this mindset is probably (read: not) the right mindset. By all means, local missions are good. Even great. We need to help our neighbors out in times of crisis. But, maybe-just maybe, missions also means being willing to take a risk.
I think of people like Katie who aren't that much older than me, but have clearly taken a leap of faith. I mean, she's twenty something and has basically given her life plans to serving in Uganda. And then I start thinking about how I get nervous about something like flying over an ocean. Or just flying in a plane. And it all sounds a little silly because , I mean God's really the one in control right? I mean, God has everything planned out in my life. Yeah, the whole flying thing is not something I'm super comfortable with right now. But, if God was going to lead me somewhere that required an airplane as the main method of transportation-who am I to doubt that he can get me there safely? Is an airplane/pilot/terrorrist/the ocean more powerful than my God? I mean, when you put it that way it sounds kind of silly. I mean, I know that things happen, but God is always in control. I believe that. God has the power to zap someone, the power to make a miracle happen. And the power to convince me that international mission trips may not be that bad.
And then we get to the whole comfort zone deal. It isn't that surprising that I'm a bit of a control freak. It's a weakness. I like to know how the day is all planned out, where I need to be, what I need to do, and make sure everything is going to plan. Which is great. Except for the fact that I believe that God doesn't follow my plans. He's a bit bigger and a bit mightier and a bit more powerful. And he's kind of like the creator of the universe. So, he likes to try and take me out of my comfort zone. Which I don't really like. Like, the fact that I was kind of nervous applying for a summer missions opportunity. (I haven't gotten it...just saying. It fits my story). This mission opportunity isn't that far away. It's in Alabama. The state I live in. With people that speak English and I don't have to fly on an airplane to get to. You would think that it would be easy to say yes to God on this one. Umm...nope. You see, it requires the whole summer (yeah...2 whole months) and me working with people that aren't completely like me. Oh- and it requires me to trust God. And it all sounds great- but, frankly, I'm a little nervous about trusting God on this one. Because, what if I do this thing and then he leads me somewhere else. Somewhere farther away and for a longer period of time...and what if?
I guess this is one of those things that I don't have all the answers for. One thing I know that I serve a mighty God, who has plans that are bigger than I could ever imagine. I just need to work on trusting him with everything. He's not asking me to die a martyrs death on a cross or to suffer for his cause. He's simply asking me to get out of my comfort zone a little. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so. After all, he did so much more for me than I could ever do for him.