I don't have it.
Why do I blog? Is it because all of my new blog friends? Is it to tell family members what's going on in my life? Is it to provide another outlet for my parent's to stalk me on? Really. Why do I blog? I used to find a hug joy when it came to blogging. Now, I'm pretty sure it just feels like "Oh no. I need to blog again. Or else people might get bored." I mean, I feel this huge responsibility to entertain you. Seriously.
The greatest post ever written can't come from me. It can only come from God. I mean, he wrote the greatest story ever told. He speaks through writers, yes. But, I can't write that post. He can choose to do something through me, but I can't do it alone. So, I'm returning back to the basics.
But, today, I had a grand reality check. I realized that ultimately the reason I blog is to bring glory to Christ. I mean, if you look at some of the posts I've written in the past (um, back this summer), I blogged a lot about what God was doing in my life and the things I was discovering in His Word and what-not. But now? My posts are full of fluff. I mean, I feel like some of the glory is going to the Big Guy, but not all of it. Most of the glory is going right here. To this girl. And to someone who suffers from a lack of humility...that's not a great thing. Nope. Not good.
A couple things brought me to this.
First, this wonderful blogger girl named Annie wrote a post that really got me thinking. Not just about blog related things. Real life things (Yes, I have a real life. I don't live in a computer!). I kind of want to copy/paste it here because it's so...real...but that would probably be plagiarism, so I'll just encourage you to click that little link up there. Plus it saves me time. But, I will copy a line from her tumblr that talks about that really struck me.
She says, "I believe singleness is a gift even when it isn’t easy, that faith is a journey, and that it isn’t until i lose my life that i find it." I know, the lack of being in a serious, engaged-type, pretty-much-married relationship at the tender age of twenty doesn't condemn you to a life of misery. Or singleness. Or mean that you won't ever meet Prince Charming. But...let's just talk for a minute. I know of four people that graduated from high school at the same time as me that have gotten engaged in the last two weeks. Not even kidding. While I don't think getting married during college is a great idea...it's a little hard when everyone else is. I mean, I know that God has a plan for my life, but that doesn't make it easier when I'm sitting around with friends and everyone's talking about candlelights and such. Faith is a journey. Right now, I'm at the point in my journey where God is asking me to lay "that dream" aside. He's got it under control. I need to place "that dream" on the alter and give it to God and let Him work it out in his time. We all have different things to lay down. For me? It's that whole "you're supposed to have a ring on it by the end of Junior Year". I'm just thinking that one's not gonna happen. (And by the way- I really did have a "3 year plan" that was formulated during my Freshman Year in college. It was planned out on the top of a parking deck and everything. I had dates and deadlines.Let's just say...it didn't all go as planned. Haha. God's funny like that.) So. I'm here. Where I'm at. For a reason. That is still unknown to me. But, that's okay. Because I'm just going to serve my God with abandon and let Him iron out all the details. :)
Secondly, there's a bible verse I have hanging on my bulletin board. It's actually a paraphrase, but I like the wording better.
"Seize the day! You were born now and positioned where you are for such a time as this. -Esther 4:14"
It reminds me I am here for a reason. That reason is not to be a princess. It's not to have fun. It's not to be crafty/creative. It's to bring glory to God and serve him. I am here for such a time as this. There is meaning to my life. I think that is simply amazing. God created me and God created you for a reason. We're not here to aimlessly wander the Earth. There's a reason. There's a purpose. Think about Esther. It wasn't always easy for her. I mean, she had to go before the king and tell him that basically his number 2, his confidant, Haman was trying to kill her people. And if that's not hard enough- oh yeah, there's the threat of death for entering the king's court without being summoned. But, God had a greater plan and he had it all under control. He placed Esther in her situation for such a time as that. He places us in our individual situations for such a time as this.
And, that's all for now.