Sunday, May 30, 2010

going on a mouse hunt...

I think I should have read "Best Ways to Catch a Mouse" before attempting.

Do not think, in any way, that you can simply corner the mouse, scoop it up, and take it outside. Mice chase each other for fun since they are young. They are much faster and smaller than you, and as such, will easily be able to evade you.

Do not plaster all areas along the floor with sticky-traps, or tape cupboards shut in case they come up through the pipes. Some people are under the misconception that this is far more humane than the clap-traps. However, imagine that you are a mouse, whose body is entirely covered in fur, with a fragile tail, and not much strength; next, picture super-gluing yourself to a sheet of paper, and then trying to pull free, only to rip off your tail and a mass of hair. If you still think this sounds better than death, I invite you to cover your entire arm in duct tape, and then slowly pull it off. Finally, because mice are small and scotch tape is not very strong, chances are, the poor thing will still attempt to squeeze through, and get caught in a similar sticky situation. It will scream, and you will be forced to rescue it. Have fun.

I might have been a little more successful in my 2am mouse hunt.
First, it was in my Christmas tree box
(I know, It's almost June. Don't judge.)
Then, it got trapped in my dresser.
Then, I cornered it under my desk.
For about an hour and a half.
And then....
It sprinted to the closet.
The one next to the attic.
The point of no return.
And it's like this thing knows what a glue trap is.
He dances in front of it.
And then runs away from it.
stupid mouse.
we'll see if you're still laughing when we bring out the rat poison.

And now,
It's 4 in the morning.
And I can't sleep.
Because there's a mouse in my room.
And then I read that mice leave a scent wherever they go
So I need to deep clean this room.
No time like the present to begin, right?

Um...dear JaqJaq (yes, we named him).
Please leave my room.
And my house.
You can go live at the neighbors.
I'm pretty sure they have cheese and peanut butter, too.
It's for your sake...
And my sanity.
I need my sleep.
I have to teach 2nd grade Sunday School in five hours.
Okay? Thanks. Bye.

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